Conflict in Marriage – Coping With It
All meaningful relationships , including marriage, will at some point have a few conflicts, it normally begins either with a trivial event or something that one of you has strong feelings about, however it starts it must be addresses as soon as it arises . I have used my experiences to base this article on; how to get your ex back talking to you is a frequently asked question when I help couples with their issues .
When trying to sort out conflicts I always start at the beginning by persuading them both to speak about waht usualy starts their conflicts, and almost every time they fit into one or more of these groups .
A few gound rules usually helps – Do not hold grudges that can lead to conflict – Get the issue out in the open and wahtever happens next remember you need to deal with the outcome of the conflict by being loving and above all forgiving .
Lack of Respect – in the beginning the love for each other was strong then life got in the way , life got more complicated and issue of respect arose . You should not permit yourselves to show a lack of respect for the others points of view , talk about all issues as they come up, for ever keep in mind the love you have for each other .
Lack of Time – ensure that you have some quiet time every day to be together, especiallywhen life is most hectic. It only takes a a few minutes to re-affirm your love to each other, and to build a common barrier against whatever life is throughing at you .
Lack of Financial Goals – in today’s economic climate this problem shows up all the time, usually on of the couple is the saver or planner and the other is the spender. An vital part of your ‘together time’ should be devoted to the mundane but important issues of family finances, sort the money problems before they begin by planning for the future. Take a look at my blog post I wrote “love in hard times” at how to get your ex back
Lack of Shared Responsibilities –as well as making plans for your finances, distribute the responsabilities within the marriage so that you each have a fair share of them. If you fail to do this and either of you perceives that they do more, then this will lead to a simmering resentment that can lead to conflict.
Unsolicited Advice – another on my frequently ‘often heard’ list of issues, keep it in mind that your partner may infrequently be appreciative your loving council, but keep your advice low key and infrequent .
Lack of Sexual Desire – one of the problems least discussed in most marriages, and in many cases the most important . Go back to the beginning , sexual desire and contact was almost certainly the easiest part of the relationship, then came the career, kids and other responsibilities, all took away your together time , and gradually , initially sexual desire for each other began to fade .
To reignite the flame, you need to put aside time for each other, and learn how to get your ex back fully commited to restore romance to the marriage, make an effort to look good for your partner, remember the simple things like, personal hygiene are important as well.
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